Post by The Shootist on Aug 4, 2006 12:18:19 GMT -5
I hate weddings and funerals, all that loss of life is just sad... ;D
As such, I give you these:
"The woman cries before the wedding and the man after."
Polish Proverb
"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
Anonymous
"Wedding is destiny, And hanging likewise"
Anonymous
"In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom."
Groucho Marx
"The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character."
Peter Devries
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce
The Irish are often nervous about having the appropriate face for the occasion. They have to be happy at weddings, which is a strain, so they get depressed; they have to be sad at funerals, which is easy, so they get happy.
Peggy Noonan
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good taste in men!
A Wedding Toast
A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
Grace Hansen
“Music played at weddings always reminds me of the music played for soldiers before they go into battle”
Heinrich Heine quotes (German Poet and Writer, 1797-1856)
“Beat your wife on the wedding day, and your married life will be happy”
Japanese Proverb quotes
“A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.”
Ambrose Bierce
Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. ~Author Unknown
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner
Marriage, n: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. ~Ambrose Bierce
The devil take the women, for they never can be easy
From Whiskey in the Jar
----------------------------
The difference between a wedding and a funeral is the amount of dispair the main man feels afterwards.
As such, I give you these:
"The woman cries before the wedding and the man after."
Polish Proverb
"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
Anonymous
"Wedding is destiny, And hanging likewise"
Anonymous
"In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom."
Groucho Marx
"The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character."
Peter Devries
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce
The Irish are often nervous about having the appropriate face for the occasion. They have to be happy at weddings, which is a strain, so they get depressed; they have to be sad at funerals, which is easy, so they get happy.
Peggy Noonan
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good taste in men!
A Wedding Toast
A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
Grace Hansen
“Music played at weddings always reminds me of the music played for soldiers before they go into battle”
Heinrich Heine quotes (German Poet and Writer, 1797-1856)
“Beat your wife on the wedding day, and your married life will be happy”
Japanese Proverb quotes
“A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.”
Ambrose Bierce
Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. ~Author Unknown
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner
Marriage, n: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. ~Ambrose Bierce
Galway Bay (by the Clancy Brothers)
Maybe someday, I'll go back again to Ireland,
If my dear old wife would only pass away.
She nearly has my heart broke with her naggin',
she's got a mouth as big as Galway Bay!
See her drinkin 16 pints of Pabst Blue Ribbon, (Commercial!)
And then she can walk home without a sway.
If the sea were beer instead of salty water,
She would live and die in Galway Bay!
See her drinkin 16 pints of Padgo Murphy's,
When the barman says "I think its time to go",
She doesn't try to speak to him in gaelic,
But a language that the clergy do not know!
On her back she has tattooed a map of Ireland,
And when she takes her bath on Saturday,
She rubs the sunlight soap around by Claddaugh,
Just to watch the suds flow down by Galway Bay!
Maybe someday, I'll go back again to Ireland,
If my dear old wife would only pass away.
She nearly has my heart broke with her naggin',
she's got a mouth as big as Galway Bay!
See her drinkin 16 pints of Pabst Blue Ribbon, (Commercial!)
And then she can walk home without a sway.
If the sea were beer instead of salty water,
She would live and die in Galway Bay!
See her drinkin 16 pints of Padgo Murphy's,
When the barman says "I think its time to go",
She doesn't try to speak to him in gaelic,
But a language that the clergy do not know!
On her back she has tattooed a map of Ireland,
And when she takes her bath on Saturday,
She rubs the sunlight soap around by Claddaugh,
Just to watch the suds flow down by Galway Bay!
The devil take the women, for they never can be easy
From Whiskey in the Jar
----------------------------
The difference between a wedding and a funeral is the amount of dispair the main man feels afterwards.